30th of September

It was the 30th of September a day I hate to remember after all it was when my dad died. Unlike that great Temptations song, I was blessed to have my dad in my life for 28yrs. He saw and congratulated me on several things. Cotillion, graduations, church events, and he walked me down the aisle on my wedding day. I know several people loss their loved one before they could experience such events. Lord, I thank you for the years.

I originally started this post for Father’s Day and never got the strength to finish it. I have changed this entire entry for several reasons. Today is different for so many reasons and I am still searching to hear from God about the overall message to share with others. As I continue to pray for our country thanks to the state of Pandemic emergency and all the effects it has caused, I often wonder what would my dad think to say? My dad loved reading the newspaper and watching reports for local and world news. He was a smart fella and never mis-informed. He always could talk politics and not too many could handle his way of thinking. He was not a radical thinker just honest. He could deliver a crafty opinion and pull your feelings without any facial gestures. Last night’s Presidential debate and this year have sparked so many things unexplainable. I believe God and I love Him! God is my source yet there are times I truly just want to call my earthly father and pick his brain. My dad did not appreciate trite behavior and our current government is rather unoriginal.

I met my dad on March 12, 1979, early that afternoon. It was almost as if he had planned my birth because he had to get to the Mid-South Coliseum that evening so I needed to be born that morning or afternoon to guarantee his timing for entertainment 😊. My father was an avid Memphis Wrasslin fan who became a Wrestler. I miss him much, yet I must admit not all days were as wonderful as some would think. There were plenty of days in between the years it took a while for him to adjust to fatherhood. Thank God for grandma! She made sure I could spend as much time as I wanted to come tear her house up and watch my dad. We grew up like besties I would say, literally. I called him by his first name until I was 15, at his request. Now out of respect I referred to him as dad, yet he would check me and tell me I did not have to use my manners. WOW, I know it was interestingly weird, yet I would not trade any of it thinking back. When we did spend time together before the consecutive years, he would simply spoil me while all I really wanted was to lay on his back or watch him educate others. On December 26, 1995, Keith told me to call him dad from that day on. I was like a kid at Disney World. I had been wanting to call him that like all the time anyway, yet this was a defining moment. We loss my grandmother on that day and had business to take care of it was one of many times I sat in the front seat of the car however my maturity level was different. Things went so fast after that and while I was embracing and paying attention nothing made me feel as secure as to see him give me that smirk or wink as the ultimate sign of approval.

Funny I was a true teen and did not buck the system too much yet there were days. I recall purposely trying stuff to see the reaction of Keith or My Dad. Uhhhh, dad was the one who responded with his conversation of discipline. In all my years of being an only daughter to my father, a true #DaddysGirl, he NEVER laid a hand on me for discipline. In the moments of college, I used to laugh because I felt like Denise and Whitley “all in one”. Please watch A Different World if you are not familiar.

God allowed my dad to be a provider, a visionary, a career driven man and a giver. He had a career for 25yrs with FedEx, wrestled with pay for large and small scale networks for more than 10yrs, and he was a nice party promoter with a great cause. If he kept the proceeds, I was shocked. Yet, on countless times, once funds were counted, he made certain I saw him give back to those in need. My greatest memory of giving was one Christmas, I was at mom’s minding my business and he asked that I take a ride with him. We drove to the Frayser community and my eyes were so watered upon entering the family home of folks I did not know. I was uncomfortable to see no tree, no gifts, mattresses on the floor, no smells of holiday comfort yet 5 children, a mother, and father. It was Christmas Day, WTH!!! He pulled out of his pocket the money I had just counted on that Monday after his Annual Christmas party. My dad told me that my Christmas would be late, I smiled, and he gave them over 4k in cash. It was in that moment as a teen I wanted to help anyone less fortunate than I. It was in that moment I no longer felt that I needed anything and knew how blessed I was to have several homes I could choose from at a moment’s notice between mom, dad, all my godparents, etc. God, I thank you for opening my eyes through my dad. He supported the church financially although he was not a member. He took care of several Pastors because it was taught. He took care of so many people mentally, emotionally, and financially. He always had a word for you. This is an introduction to him, I am certain he will be featured again because of the laughter, gems, and his slick way of making certain I was cultured.

I share this on his 14th year death date because for the first time in a long time I am not somewhere crying about my father dying. I have the strength of God and the wisdom of my earthly dad who is no longer with me to navigate further on this journey of uncertainty. Yes, every time I hear the “breaking news” I smile and think dad I would love to discuss this with you. I have a bear that was given to me the year he passed, and I retrieved it from a safe place recently. Yes, at 41, I sometimes find myself just looking at that bear and laugh like a kid. No cares in the world so it is like my Care Bear. My dad was a ordinary man at least I feel that way. Others for certain will say he was NOT! He taught lessons for years to come. Daily there is something I can think about and know that is a true dad moment. The 30th of September is the day I will forever remember and cherish. It was a lot that happened in 2006, the biggest was my heart was broken and now starting to heal. God, I have finally shown myself grace about my dad, the lessons, the memories, and his death. God, I am grateful that your strength is what I count on in the greatest way on the 30th of September.